Tag Archives: procrastination

Procrastination – The Sequel

You probably have your gems but just in case you’re running out of ideas. I know I am!

10. Have children.

9. Start tweeting.

8. Watch Rebecca Ferguson on Youtube. Over and over and over.

7. Check out property online in Western Australia.

6. Run a nit comb through your hair. Just in case.

5. Try to get rid of your excess books. It will take up hours of time and the two slim tomes you manage to part with will be put firmly back in the bookcase by your husband.

4. Push back the skin of your face to see what you looked like 20 years ago.

3. Spy on the neighbors. Wonder if guns and ammunition could fit in the Amazon packages they seem to receive daily.

2. Start a blog.

1. Research plastic surgery options like this.

 

photo by Emilie Ogez (flickr)

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House Mad

house man
Hi, my name is Nina and I’m a houseaholic.

Instead of writing, I procrastinate my time away surfing property sites dreaming of a life I can not afford. Not by a long shot. Oh, yes, I occasionally scroll around my price range but the choice is so pathetic I much prefer to double the maximum price and drool.

My children are used to my obsession. The first thing I do on any of our travels is pick up the local paper and pour over the property listings. My husband ignores me.

My poor children used to jump up and down with anticipation at the thought of living in a chateau in France. Or a cottage in Dorset. Or a winery in Australia. Or a ranch in Montana…

But years have gone by and I haven’t quite managed to make enough money to buy a porcelain toilet in said chateau, cottage, winery or ranch.

So they’ve started to ignore me as well.

But I love my property sites. So I thought I’d share with you an incredible house I saw on Findaproperty.com. I can’t decide whether it’s fabulous or awful. You tell me. It’s in Hampshire and is on the market for £2,250,000.

I know. Too hilarious.

I’m also an avid fan of housepricecrash.co.uk which as far as I can tell consists of a coffee klatch of male doomsayers waiting for the UK housing market to crash or for the world to end (whichever comes first). They are alternatingly vicious and supportive. I feel quite bonded with these men (with their funny monikers: cynicalsoothsayer, paranoia blue, crunchy, flashman, growler) even though I have never posted. What would I write besides ‘Oh, no, what shall we do?’ ‘What is to become of us????’

Is there an emoticon for wringing your hands?

The other day they all broke into French and I laughed so hard I abandoned all hope of getting any work done.

photo by Climate Patrol (flickr)

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Procrastination for Dummies

tidy-closet-2Procrastination gets a bad rap but it must be popular because it’s got its own Wikipedia entry. I read somewhere (while I was procrastinating) that a good way to get people to read your blog is to give them tips on how to do something. I wracked my brains on what I could offer and was only able to come up with this.

How To Procrastinate:

1. Surf the net and bump into some very cool blogs. Try Wayne Hodgins’ Off Course On Target: Where unexpected paths lead to great discoveries. The title alone says it all. Topics range from Milk Carton Design to Earth Without People to the Snowflake Effect to Translation Robots. Fascinating stuff. Especially when you’ve got a novel to write.

2. Eat all the chocolate in the house. Start with the Halloween candy you confiscated from your kids until they forgot about it. The cherry filled numbers brought over at Christmas which no one will eat. The Toll House chocolate chips which you bought for the cookies you never got around to making.

3. Do the laundry. Forget to sort out the whites from the brights and spend the rest of the day bleaching.

4. Stress out that your daughter is still having trouble with her knife and fork and buy a book about dyspraxia. Read it and discover that actually she is just lazy.

5. Eat a third lunch.

A modest start but it should get you through the day. Good luck.

Photo above by chrissthegirl (flickr)

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