In my underwear: my agent’s draft

I have finished a draft of my book.

I wouldn’t call it a first draft because the first draft I finished a couple of months ago. This is the draft I’d like to send my agent. But I’m not as confident about this novel as I have been with ones in the past. With this one, I’m more tentative. I’ve dug a little deeper and came up with something that is dear to me. I’ve bared myself in a way that invites…well, a possible snort, an eye roll, a What was she thinking?

So I feel a bit as if I’m sending my agent a photo of myself in my underwear.

And not particularly alluring underwear. (Ah, unlike the lady above…)

Earlier in the writing of this novel, I would send bits to my sister who would send them back with wonderful encouraging notes on them. We should all be so lucky to have a sister like that.

And recently I gave a draft to a fellow writer who I knew would take it and guard my trust with her soul. She responded with great suggestions and even greater tact.

So now having worked on it more I’m getting ready to give it to my agent.

So I can begin to see what is wrong with it.

Because for me, I can only begin to see what is wrong with it once I’ve let go. And the sincerest form of letting go, for me, is to give it to my agent.

So without further ado, I press the send button.

And stand very awkwardly in my underwear.

photo by Zellaby (flickr)


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11 responses to “In my underwear: my agent’s draft

  1. Sue Hyams

    Good luck with it! Please put some clothes on now. You’ll freeze!

  2. ninakillham

    Ha! Good idea. Pretty cold out there!

  3. You have accomplished a feat of remarkable bravery.

    Get dressed and replenish your electrolytes. 🙂

  4. Well done Nina! Put some salve on those raw edges – we are waiting for the next one! xxx

  5. Nina, with a name like yours you should have been a doctor.

    Sorry, I’ve been watching too many Carry On films …

  6. V. Kathryn Evans

    I always see what was wrong with it just as soon as I’ve hit the send button – oh the grovelling emails to my agent – urm, can I have it back for a few weeks…..

  7. I always feel like I’m in my underwear when I share a piece of my writing with someone. Especially the stuff which is too close to my soul, too much a part of what I am. It’s like giving someone I don’t know a piece of me. Drives me crazy every time!

  8. ninakillham

    Thank you all for your comments and best wishes. Fingers crossed.

  9. Lisa

    Good Luck Nina – it’s like sending your child to school for the first time – you’ve lost some power, control…it’s frightening, and a relief combined with anxiety. Not one of my favorite emotions! I know it will be amazing! I’ve got my fingers crossed!!!

  10. Hi Nina! For some strange reason you popped into my mind the other day out of the blue. Then tonight I was googling to see if I could find any cached copies of old blog entries of mine that got lost, and your blog came up in the search! Nice to “see” you – and congratulations to you on being a published book writer. Well done!

  11. ninakillham

    Jenny, so glad to hear from you. I LOVE your blog about permaculture. Sounds like you’re living a very interesting life. I’m going to keep dropping by…

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