Weaving, weaving, weaving…..

I didn’t blog yesterday. Didn’t have anything to say. Still don’t really. I’m deep into my book and have nothing to say about writing.

Fear though. Ooo, yes, know a bit about that.

The white hot fear that all this work will lead to nothing.

And believe me I’m not being one of those who complains and weeps and moans but in the end always gets an A. No. I never got A’s. (Ok, maybe not never, but very rarely.)

So there is a real possibility of failure. Of wasting a couple of years on…nothing.

I’m trying not to growl at my husband who, not surprisingly, tiptoes around me as if I might bite.

I’m trying not to snarl at my children who want breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I’m just trying to get a few words down each day, knowing full well that in the morning I’m going to want to rip them to shreds.

I feel a bit like Penelope, weaving, weaving, weaving…

Sad thing is I’m not waiting for a hunk like Ulysses to appear.

I’m just waiting for my story. To appear on my page. As if it was there all along.

photo by treestman (flickr)

Advertisements

6 Comments

Filed under Uncategorized

6 responses to “Weaving, weaving, weaving…..

  1. lisa knaggs

    a friend asked me yesterday how the fear that I was describing felt; what I finally got to was that it was in my head and almost out of body, disconnected from my body, and she had me do one of the grounding practices from her medical training in Healing Touch- most helpful! so much learning to do- how did we ever make it to here?

  2. kelliejwin

    I find it ironic to be at a point in my life where I don’t care what people think of me only to put myself into a potential career where people’s opinions of my work matter. I guess I’m able to handle it now. But every rejection makes me wince just a wee bit.

  3. I have definitely had days like that!

  4. I’m trying not to snarl at my children who want breakfast, lunch and dinner.

    my boys are like that too…greedy little trolls

  5. I absolutely LOVE this post. It really had an impact on me especially since today I am so fearful I am unable to face my manuscript. Instead I am procrastinating by reading blogs like this one. Later, I will spend too much time fussing over lunch (and dinner and then maybe even a hot breakfast tomorrow) so I don’t have to face my fear head on! Thanks for sharing. I also love the phrase, ‘I’m just waiting for my story. To appear on my page. As if it was there all along.’ That is EXACTLY how I feel. When will it appear???? Thanks for making me feel not so alone right now!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s