House Mad

house man
Hi, my name is Nina and I’m a houseaholic.

Instead of writing, I procrastinate my time away surfing property sites dreaming of a life I can not afford. Not by a long shot. Oh, yes, I occasionally scroll around my price range but the choice is so pathetic I much prefer to double the maximum price and drool.

My children are used to my obsession. The first thing I do on any of our travels is pick up the local paper and pour over the property listings. My husband ignores me.

My poor children used to jump up and down with anticipation at the thought of living in a chateau in France. Or a cottage in Dorset. Or a winery in Australia. Or a ranch in Montana…

But years have gone by and I haven’t quite managed to make enough money to buy a porcelain toilet in said chateau, cottage, winery or ranch.

So they’ve started to ignore me as well.

But I love my property sites. So I thought I’d share with you an incredible house I saw on Findaproperty.com. I can’t decide whether it’s fabulous or awful. You tell me. It’s in Hampshire and is on the market for £2,250,000.

I know. Too hilarious.

I’m also an avid fan of housepricecrash.co.uk which as far as I can tell consists of a coffee klatch of male doomsayers waiting for the UK housing market to crash or for the world to end (whichever comes first). They are alternatingly vicious and supportive. I feel quite bonded with these men (with their funny monikers: cynicalsoothsayer, paranoia blue, crunchy, flashman, growler) even though I have never posted. What would I write besides ‘Oh, no, what shall we do?’ ‘What is to become of us????’

Is there an emoticon for wringing your hands?

The other day they all broke into French and I laughed so hard I abandoned all hope of getting any work done.

photo by Climate Patrol (flickr)

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “House Mad

  1. Is that house for real?? I want one!!!

  2. Lisa

    Nina – Now I know another reason I relate to your books….I house surf on the internet so much that my family says “Oh, it’s Mommy looking at houses we can’t afford again.” Even when I’m working (really working at my regular pay the bills job), they think I’m looking at real estate sites. The trick is to minimize that site as soon as anyone walks in and just bring up a page on something intellectual like “Anthropological History of the Outer Hebrides” or something 🙂

    I think we could go in on that house together – we could start by purchasing that for sale sign…and save up for the rest!

  3. Lisa

    P.S. Actually – don’t we sort of own that house in the photo already…ha

  4. ninakillham

    You’re right. We do! Shall we go this weekend?

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